Showing posts from 2009



The bride and the groom were on the cake
The steady candles didn't shake
Nothing seemed to be a mistake
Forever, so you'd never forsake
Eachother.. That's what you said
Lights flickered as the happiness spread
No anxiety, there was nothing to dread
And everything to hope for in days ahead.
The honeymoon..What a special vacation
The two of you buried in your own celebration.
You didn't know that it was the preparation
For your marriages coming cremation.
Children..your supposed pride and joy,
You always had wanted a girl and a boy...
A family..though it isn't a toy
Is quite simple to destroy.
Divorce..can't believe this is the end
Should have known your wounds were too wicked to mend.
Should have known that you couldn't depend
On each other..or was the love just pretend?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

I was listening to one of my all time favorite songs, "Dark Blue," by Jacks Mannequin. In the chorus, the lead singer, Andrew, inquires "have you ever been alone in a crowded room?" I paused the song immediately as tears welled up in my eyes. I listen to this song all of the time, but it suddenly hit me at that moment that my life is the epitome of being alone in a crowded room.

Upon hearing the question at first, one might search for the sensical part of the song lyric. Alone in a crowded room? Well if the room is crowded and I'm in it, how could I possibly be alone?

If I'm in a room with other people, that doesn't guarantee anything about those other people. Those other people might never look at me, never listen to me, never even notice I'm standing in the room at all; those people might have absolutely no idea who I am and might not even have a fleeting impulse in which they would ever want to meet me.

I sit in crowded rooms every day in class. I…


I'm sorry I'm too young for the seriousness of the future. I'm sorry that my tear-stained cheeks aren't enough proof that I care. I'm sorry I wanted so much so fast but then realized I wasn't ready for the speed. I'm sorry I want love at the same time I don't even believe in it. I'm sorry that we never had the same dreams even though we dreamt of each other. I'm sorry that shattered hearts can't share the same love of ones that have never broken. I'm sorry for the sleepless nights I spent stuck in seconds of our lives that I'll remember forever. I'm sorry that forever never seems as long in real life as it does in hypothetical discussion. I'm sorry that I couldn't wait around fearing that I might one day learn your secrets. I'm sorry that I've lost my voice from screaming when I never even wanted to fight. I'm sorry so many ferocious, hurtful fights remained unresolved. I'm sorry that the solutions are so …

No Words

It's the one word I can never say
It does not yet exist
The pounds my tongue seems to weigh
When I try to describe this
Could knock me to the floor
So hard I'd leave it cracked
But all the pain I would adore
No injury even has an impact
Now that I have you.
My lips can barely conjure a quiver
So no one has a clue
For I have no phrases to deliver
So I attempt using love as its label
But my heart leaps in protest
A brief pause to make myself stable
I still have nothing to suggest.
And so I allow myself to succumb
I just let myself yield
To words that may never come
But could not be more real.

Photo Form

your pictures loom over me
can't fight their gaze
always-- when my eyes are open or closed
it's just like the worst type of maze
I'm trapped by your face but it's trapped by a frame.
Our feelings hit the frame and froze
stranded, soaked up in the storm
love remains at least in photo form.